An Abundance of Presence: Social Media Detox

The Other World

In this world where time is slower

And the rhythm has a natural cadence

Where my impulses are controlled consciously

With nothing more than the simplicity of my body's knowing

Where my finger does not have a life of it's own

Constantly searching for more, more, more

In this world I feel whole, healed, and free

Free from distractions that lead me far from the heart of being

In the void of distractions there is no debt

No debt of time, no debt of consciousness, no debt of presence

There is an abundance

The abundance the finger searches for but that is never found

The abundance is not in the finger, not in that world

The abundance is here in the heart, in this moment, in this world

-Written by me in early April during my social media detox

Recently I took 2 weeks off of social media. I felt it was time. I wish so much I could be one of those people who has a really good real life/social media life balance. That can go on and post and then shuts it off and doesn't spend hours and hours scrolling. Who doesn't mindlessly reach for their phone and somehow get sucked in while they are simultaneously cooking dinner. I wish I was that person but I'm not. As much as I don't really think I have much of an addictive personality, the addicting qualities

of social media are too much for even a pretty self- disciplined person like myself. And that says something right there. 

So after spending many months advertising the heck out of my little tea business and my offerings and also getting sucked into the game of it all I just needed to get off the ride. It was making me dizzy and nauseous. It corresponded perfectly with Wood Element season, a great time for detox-ing, as well as with Eclipse season, Mercury Retrograde, and the Celestial Void. I felt like I kinda skipped over the weird energies of those because I was off social media and consequently had already kind of gone inward... a good place to be (and hide) when energies are weird. 

My time away was simply blissful. I had relatively no problem breaking the habit once the app was off my phone and I felt calm and present. I read more. Wrote more. Breathed more. 

It felt like an unreal, crap world and I didn't really want to be part of it.

What I have to say about going back on Instagram could probably fill a book. So many feelings. The first is that I didn't really want to go back on. Very similar to the time I took a break back in August 2016 and didn't go back on until February 2022. Except that I have more going on these days that "need" my attention via social media. Do they "need" It? I don't know but it feels that way if I want to keep going with this little tea business. There is a momentum that I have invested myself in that I'm not ready to give up yet and social media feels integral to that at this moment. But those first few days re-entering the Instagram world felt strange and like a total jolt to the system. I felt very disconnected and un-phased, disinterested in everything being thrown at me from the screen. Which is the way it should feel, no? I mean why should I feel so compelled to know about all these people's random lives and endeavors?  It felt like an unreal, crap world and I didn't really want to be part of it. It didn't take long though for me to get sucked in again.

I am not blind to so many of the good sides of social media. A way to connect to friends far and wide, a chance to connect and collaborate and co-create. I have, honestly, met amazing people through this app. And of course it's a great resource for getting info out into the world. 

But with all that comes such a heaviness that seems unsustainable. There is so much noise (what I call Times Square in your pocket) and it just makes you feel yucky. Nervous system dysregulated, comparison-game full force, feelings of not enough or not good enough or just a subconscious nagging that you need to be doing more or doing it differently or doing it better. I can straight up raise my hand and say I don't know what the f' I'm doing when it comes to social media and oftentimes the flailing and keeping up is the worst part. It's definitely the most exhausting part. 

I ask myself, how can we be spending time in this place that feels so yucky. If it was a real, physical place we would never tolerate it. We just wouldn't go. Or would we? Probably not because I don't know how a physical place could give us that same kind of dopamine hit (while simultaneously attacking our cortisol) that social media does that makes us so addicted. But if it did give us the incentive of keeping up with Joneses, keeping up with the world, staying relevant, and all of that...maybe we would deal with the toxic atmosphere? I don't know. All I know is I didn't feel like I wanted to be in the Instagram world, I didn't feel like I belonged there, not to take this term lightly but I kinda wanted to commit Instagram-suicide like I had back in 2016. And I still feel like this to a certain extent despite the fact that I am back to being 100% hooked but trying to take all that bliss and intention from my couple weeks away and integrate it into how I interact with the app now. It's a work in progress.

I realized how rich and beautiful and enjoyable and multi-dimensional live is and it makes the other world feel flat.

I do have to say, probably the best thing I ever did is stay off social media for those 6 years between 2016 and 2022. Those were the years I was having and taking care of babies and I thank all of the stars in heaven that I didn't have this addictive app stealing my attention away from those precious babies and those precious years. In those years (and even just those 2 weeks), living in the real world solely, I realized how rich and beautiful and enjoyable and multi-dimensional life is and it makes the other world feel flat. Like I said..."an unreal, crap world". 

The abundance exists here. Everything we are looking for exists here.