To Holiday or Not to Holiday?

Yes, this is the question. This is one to file under musings and unpopular opinions.

Recently I have found myself responding very strongly to messages out there that indicate that there are certain holidays we should not be celebrating. I think what gets to me is what I feel to be a bit of hypocrisy in these messages. The messages, yes… they come from social media and yes… the speakers are putting it out there as their own opinion to not celebrate, stating that they are not trying to sway people to follow. I would beg to say that if you are putting it out there at all you are hoping people will follow suit - probably. I cannot pretend to know their intention, but I know if I was putting it out there, that would either be the reason or at least an underlying reason to do so.

I very much try to live under the philosophy of “Live and Let Live,” you know, to a certain extent - as long as no one is being harmed - and if one is not celebrating a holiday, that is not going to harm anyone. But so many arguments floated to my head and I ruminated over it for days, so I knew it was something I needed to explore. You might say that by creating this blog, by also putting out my message, that I am also attempting to get people to follow my lead… and maybe so. It feels more like a practice of intellectual exploration but also an argument for something I believe to be an important part of human life that should not be easily given up.

I am a bit of a ritual freak. I think they are so important and believe that ritualizing life is the best way to find reverence, connection, and meaning. I will die on the hill of rituals. And rituals and holidays are deeply connected. It is not that people are wrong or bad for deciding not to celebrate holidays - and I want to be clear that is not the argument I’m making. What I simply want to make the argument for is that I do not believe it to be a skillful life practice to give up holidays, nor do I believe it accomplishes what people set out to accomplish with such an act.

I am going to break this blog up in a few posts because I feel I have a lot to say about this topic and don’t want to go overboard in one post. This first post dives into the importance of holidays but also into the messy, convoluted atrocities that exist within them all. I get into this not to normalize them but to understand the atrocities that exist within every holiday and explore why we should not wash our hands of holidays altogether, but spend the time sorting through the mess to find messages of peace and reverence, as well as focusing on celebrations, rituals, and mindsets that benefit the goodwill of our shared humanity.

The message that particularly led me into this tailspin was about Thanksgiving and the importance of not celebrating it because it is a day of mourning for many Native peoples. These colonized people experienced genocide of life and culture, and the false narrative around Thanksgiving glorifies a story of untruth and brushes away the tragedy of these people. It is implied that by celebrating the holiday, we are essentially supporting this narrative, perpetuating the colonialist powers that be, and not honoring the people who have long suffered due to the untrue narrative - an idea that we are basically dancing on their graves by celebrating this holiday.

Rituals and holidays have many purposes, one of which is of course to give us a chance to rest, but the others are about creating connection to family and community through shared joyful or emotional experiences. They give us a sense of belonging, help us express what's important to us, and even connects us to history and nature.

Rituals and holidays have many purposes, one of which is of course to give us a chance to rest, but the others are about creating connection to family and community through shared joyful or emotional experiences. They give us a sense of belonging, help us express what’s important to us, and even connect us to history and nature. Rituals, on their own or within a holiday setting, are also a concentrated effort or practice of a certain mindset, philosophy, or way of life so that we learn and carry on the skillfulness practice past the holiday and throughout the year.

For example, in the Jewish tradition, Hanukkah is a time for mitzvot or good deeds, which is in full swing during this holiday but is also a religious philosophy of Judaism that extends year-round. Or looking at it through the lens of Thanksgiving, the ritual of connecting with family, sharing a meal, and giving thanks can remind us how important it is to do those things throughout the year. Of course, we can separate these rituals from the holidays, but there is something beautiful and powerful in the collective participation of a holiday, despite the convoluted mess that can come with them (family politics, commercialism, trauma, etc.).

This is where I think it is important not necessarily to forego the holiday altogether, but to sift through the mess - which, unfortunately, so much of life is these days - and find the ways in which you can celebrate in a way that honors its true essence. Like for Thanksgiving, if Black Friday feels icky and your family is a pain, practice connection and gratitude with your friends over a nice meal and tune out the commercial side of it as much as possible.

...there is something beautiful and powerful in the collective participation of a holiday,

The idea that the narrative of Thanksgiving is false and sugarcoats a horrific atrocity in American history is true. We know the first Thanksgiving did not happen as they say. Thanksgiving as an official American holiday was actually started in 1863 during the Civil War when Sarah Josepha Hale, an editor for a women’s magazine, advocated for it to Abraham Lincoln as a way of unifying the country. Even the date, which was selected much later, was chosen to extend the Christmas shopping season - a pure economic move.

But if we are to give up one holiday due to the atrocities that were committed in relation to that holiday, we would probably have to give them all up. Christmas celebrates a wonderful, peaceful man, yet Christianity has committed holy wars and colonized much of the world in his name. Hanukkah emerged from the Maccabean Revolt, which also left bloodshed in its wake. Native Americans were definitely colonized and persecuted but persecution was also what many of the colonists themselves faced back in their home countries that led to their journey to the New World to make a new life for themselves. That leads me to think about who is the colonized and who is the colonizer anyway. It may seem black and white, and in some ways it is, but the deeper you look, the blurrier it becomes. There is always going to be some group that has been harmed in the name of a holiday, which could potentially turn one person’s holiday into another person’s day of mourning.

So now the story has turned - rituals were beautiful and powerful, and now it looks like all holidays are a mess of blood baths and contradictions. That is human history, isn’t it? At this point some people may, and I know some people have, throw up their hands and decide just not to celebrate holidays. There’s too much lying under the surface, too much mess to sift through. And shouldn’t every day be a day for reverence and gratitude anyway?

I’d say yes and no. Of course, having daily practices to find beauty in every day is a great skillfulness practice. But days of rest are essential. Days that are dedicated to communally taking pause and celebrating are essential. Just as human atrocity has been around for as long as humanity, so have holidays - and there’s a reason for that. Without special festivities and celebrations, the days would drone on without much rhythm or reason. The rhythm of the music of life which starts and stops, which has upbeats and downbeats, it creates interest, it gives meaning. Especially when human atrocity exists. We need moments to celebrate to create balance for all the moments of suffering.

But days of rest are essential. Days that are dedicated to communally taking pause and celebrating are essential.

Others who don’t throw their hands up and give up on holidays might instead be drawn to more earth-based festivals like Samhain or Beltane. There’s a movement toward these ancient rituals, a calling to a simpler time where we followed the rhythms of the Earth. I get that, in a big way. That’s why I am a Chadao practitioner, practicing Five Element Tea Ceremony, and a dedicated student of Taoism and Zen. But the Pagans don’t get a free pass either - they, too, had their own histories of violence.

So here I will conclude my first post. My conclusion being that holidays and rituals are important to humanity, which is why I feel it is important not to discard them despite their complications, of which there are many.

Thank you for reading and I would love to hear any of your feedback. Again, this is just an exploration and basically me writing down and making sense of the arguments in my head so I'd love to hear from you.